Concentration – or something

I don’t know about you, but recently I’ve found it difficult to… to… umm… oh look, a butterfly.

Concentrate, that’s what I wanted to say.

Yes, that old gag is the best I can dredge up. That’s how bad it’s got.

We all know the reasons for it. You don’t need me to expand on them. But the result is that serious creative endeavour has largely gone out of the window. This is mildly inconvenient, because I’m supposed to be writing a book. Luckily, said book isn’t due until next February, by which time who knows what state we’ll all be in? So at least I can hone my procrastination skills, which are already up there with (insert something really brilliant and inventive here).

[five minutes later]

Yes, I wrote ten sentences – one of them incomplete – and had to break off to check twitter. Don’t judge me.

I’m beginning to feel my way back in, as All This™ enters its xth week (honestly can’t be bothered to look up how long it’s been, sorry).

And this perfunctory blogpost (the first, I might add, in a very long time) is part of that. A way of blowing off the cobwebs and getting something – ANYTHING – down, no matter how, umm, how… half-arsed, that’s it! (Well, it isn’t, but it’s going to have to do).

[five minutes later]

Sorry, twitter again. Got a retweet for my terrible ‘with fronds like that, who needs anemones?’ joke. The bar is low these days.

But also stirring the dal. Cooking has helped. As has photography, and noticing things.

Lacking anything better to do, I took photographs of lots of green things the other day and made them into a collage.

49 Greens

I’ve found the result very calming, and even if the sequels (yellow, blue, shadows) don’t quite have the same effect, at least it’s something to do. A little project to give a bit of focus to my daily permitted walk. Look for things that have something in common; photograph them; make something out of them (or not – up to you).

I’ve found it difficult to read, as well. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Away with complexity. Give me short sentences. Lots of them. Verbs not necessarily required.

Hello, Jack Reacher.

[five minutes later]

The secret, I think, is to take regular breaks. It’s a good plan, even in normal circumstances, to keep the concentration sharp and increase productivity. Twenty-five minutes on, five minutes off, for example. But now I’ve reduced it to ten on, five off. Whatever it takes. And even if at the end of the ten minutes all you have is this little chunk, then that’s one chunk more than I would have written otherwise. And sometimes the ten minutes yields absolutely nothing.

But that’s fine, too. Self-forgiveness, I’ve found, is crucial.

Editing? That’s for another day.

[five minutes later]

Some things that have given me solace in These Difficult Times.

  • The enforced examination and appreciation of the local.
  • The tinkling song of the goldfinch that accompanies me as I type this sentence.
  • Beans on toast.
  • The onset of spring, observable from any window.
  • The daily monitoring of this lily-of-the-valley. Soon. Soon.
  • The lean forward people do at the end of Zoom meetings when they’re clicking ‘Leave Meeting’.
  • Also the frozen look when they join and before the audio kicks in.
  • This orange-tip butterfly that paid us a visit the other day. I mean, just look at it.
  • The BBC broadcasting all of last year’s Headingley Test on the wireless.
  • Londoners smiling at each other.
  • Two weeks till the swifts get back.
  • Getting to know a very few American birds via this webcam.
  • Jack Reacher. Short sentences. Digestible. Easily digestible.
  • People being, on the whole, kind.

[five minutes later]

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. It is, at least, a step in the right direction.

Isn’t it?

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